In March of 2017 we found out we were pregnant after trying for quite some time. I had already experienced a tubal pregnancy and an early miscarriage prior to this pregnancy. Needless to say, I was quite nervous going into it. Once I hit the 12 week mark , I was so excited and my nerves subsided and we made our announcement on vacation. Our 5 year old, Noah, was so excited and wanted a sister. I knew it was going to be a boy (I pretty much had a feeling I was destined to have all boys) and I was right. I had pretty smooth pregnancy overall, just more tired and swollen this time. But every appointment, every ultrasound, every test was perfect. Around 36 weeks I had an ultrasound and he looked great. Big- they estimated he would be 9 lbs at birth! At 39 weeks, on Tuesday December 12, 2017, I had my final doctors appointment where I scheduled my induction for that Friday. I remember every detail of this day, because ultimately it was the worst day of my entire life. I left the doctors feeling great and so excited to meet my little guy in just a few days! Noah and I went to Moes for lunch and Ithen we headed to the eye doctor to get his eyes checked. I remember feeling really strange all of a sudden and started getting contraction like pains and on our way home I called my husband and told him I think we might need to go to the hospital, I was in labor! I pulled up to our house and went inside and got extremely sick and felt the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. I called my neighbor to come over and told her to call an ambulance. I got rushed to the hospital, around 6 pm. I was in such unbearable pain I was to the point of passing out. I was sweating and dizzy and could barely see straight. When I got to labor and delivery, they strapped the monitors on me and had trouble locating a heartbeat which I thought was ridiculous because I just heard it at the doctors that morning! Within the next 10 minutes, my doctor had me in the OR and prepped me for a c section and immediately put me under anesthesia. When I came to, I found out our sweet boy didn’t make it. I had suffered a placental abruption and he had lost oxygen for too long a period of time. I was bleeding internally and had my doctor not acted so quickly, I could have bled out and not made it either. I spent the next few days getting blood transfusions, getting morphine drips and needles stuck in and out of me, all while trying to process the fact that I had just given birth to the most beautiful, perfect baby who I would never get to take home. He was 8 lbs, 12 oz with dark wavy hair and chubby cheeks. I want to make sure I recognize the staff at the hospital because there were a few nurses there who were complete angels in a time of darkness. Ones who never left my side and cried with me and hugged me. Ones who held Ben and kissed him when I couldn’t even move or open my eyes. Benjamin Joseph Henry was and is loved by so many and I am so grateful I got the chance to be his mom.
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